The rules of engagement have changed. For the most part, a prospective groom approaching the father of a prospective bride is a thing of the past. Today, couples tend to inform their parents after the engagement has already taken place. Although, it’s still deemed considerate for the groom to meet with his future father-in-law in order to explain his career plans and demonstrate his future financial security.

In sharing your news with the rest of your family and friends let thoughtfulness be your guide. Spread the news with those close to you via phone calls, emails or an engagement party. Don’t let them find out by reading it in the newspaper!

When it comes to planning, there is no prescribed length of time for an engagement but the average is about fourteen months. A longer engagement can be a mixed blessing – it gives you more time to plan but it can also result in you obsessing over the details.

If there has been a previous marriage, don’t announce your engagement until the divorce is official. If you have children, they should be the first to know about the engagement and should be told without your fiancé present.

Should you decide to have an engagement party it is usually hosted by the bride’s parents. Any type of party, from a BBQ to a cocktail reception or formal dinner, will work. Traditionally the bride’s father gives a toast to the engagement, making it official. Don’t expect gifts, as your guests are not obligated to bring them. If you do receive a few, don’t open them at the party because you may embarrass those who did not bring one with them.

Louise Fox, The Etiquette Lady