Now that you’ve decided to get married, the next big question is, who pays for what at the wedding?

Tradition used to be that the bride’s family assumed most of the wedding costs, including:  

•  Engagement party
• Services of a wedding consultant, photographer and videographer
• Invitations and stationary
• Bridal attire, accessories, hair and make-up
• Flower girl’s dresses and accessories
• Reception flowers
• Transportation for the bride and her attendants to the ceremony
• The reception expenses, including food, beverage and entertainment
• The wedding cake
• Gifts for the bride’s attendants and groom
• Groom’s wedding ring
• Accommodation for the bride’s out-of-town attendants
• Transportation and accommodation for the bride’s family
• Bridal luncheon 

 Meanwhile, the groom and his family assumed these costs:

•  The bride’s engagement and wedding rings
• Bachelor party
• Rehearsal dinner
• The groom’s attire and accessories
• The ring bearer’s suit and accessories
• Gifts for the groom’s attendants and bride
• Bouquets for the bride and her attendants
• Corsages and boutonnieres
• Ceremony venue fees and music
• The officiate’s fee
• Marriage license
• Transportation to the ceremony for the groom and his attendants
• Transportation from the ceremony for the groom and the bride  
• Accommodation for the groom’s out-of-town attendants
• Transportation and accommodation for groom’s family  
• Wedding night accommodation
• Honeymoon

Today, who pays is generally dependant on the circumstances and traditions of the bride and groom and their families. For instance, it is now permissible that the groom’s family may share in covering more of the wedding costs. In some cases, the wedding couple may fit some or the all of the bill themselves. This is usually the case if it’s a second wedding for one or both partners.

However, it still remains a point of etiquette that it is not correct for the bride’s family to ask the groom’s family to pay for part of the wedding costs. However, if they offer, it’s okay to accept. If money is a factor, scale back your plans – it’s always less stressful than overstretching yourself to have a wedding you can’t really afford. 

Louise Fox, The Etiquette Lady